Sometime over the course of last year’s pre-school for my children (well three out of the four of them, the youngest is too young for school) they learned a song called “Just Say Please and Thank You”.  They used to walk around the house all the time signing away, and like any house with a ton of kids, at first the song is extremely cute; after the 100th time, you kind of treat it as background noise (not to say that I do not enjoy my children’s singing, I really do).  The song is quite simple, but delivers a very important message, one that as adults we often forget, but expect it out of our children.

As a parent, you spend a good deal of your time teaching your children good manners and good behaviors, after all they are a reflection of you.  Why is it then that we spend so much time teaching our children to say please and thank you, but we do not practice what we preach.  I guess the old saying “do as I say and not as I do” could not be more true.

Saying please and thank you are such easy things to do, yet more times than not they are simply not said.  These two little phrases can go a long way in maintaining a good relationship or establishing a new one.  You want something from someone?  Say please.  Someone does something for you.  Say thank you.  Plain and simple, not too difficult.  Next time you find yourself walking through that open door that someone is holding for you, instead keeping stride and being self absorbed, break and say thank you.  You would be surprised at how much that means and you never know where you may run into that person again.  Don’t say thank you and I bet next time that door swings back in your face.

Being a parent, you are supposed to be the teacher and not the student.  For me, my children constantly remind me that there is still so much for me to learn.  Thank goodness I have plenty of them .

While I was at my children’s Thanksgiving feast today, I was making small talk with their teacher.  I have not had many opportunities to speak with her one on one, so I took the opportunity today and I got a sneak peak into why she teaches the way she does.  She said something that I have heard many times, but she had a slightly different take on it.  She was talking about picking battles and winning wars, and she said that many teaches pick their battles, however she does not.  In her mind, she wins every battle, plain and simple.

I simply thought that there were some things that were worth sacrificing in order to win the over all war.  To me, that was just how the game was played.  I guess there are those that want to win at all costs, no matter what the consequences are.  By not picking your battles and going at each one as a must win, sometimes you are giving up far more than you stand to gain.  By allowing your opponent to get a win every once in awhile, it keeps the war waging, and sets you up for more wins down the road.

In terms of parenting, sometimes it is worth letting your child get a win here and there, it makes them happy, it gives them a sense of individuality, it gives them some pride.  In the end, the battle that you let them win is most likely insignificant, but you win the war.  The war of raising a well balanced, happy child.  In terms of business, sometimes we need to give up a little (loose a battle) in order to get what we really want (the war).  In the end you have reached your goal, you have gotten what it is you desired, you won the war.  By picking your battles, you win your war.  And in the end, it is all about you anyways isn’t it?