While I was at my children’s Thanksgiving feast today, I was making small talk with their teacher.  I have not had many opportunities to speak with her one on one, so I took the opportunity today and I got a sneak peak into why she teaches the way she does.  She said something that I have heard many times, but she had a slightly different take on it.  She was talking about picking battles and winning wars, and she said that many teaches pick their battles, however she does not.  In her mind, she wins every battle, plain and simple.

I simply thought that there were some things that were worth sacrificing in order to win the over all war.  To me, that was just how the game was played.  I guess there are those that want to win at all costs, no matter what the consequences are.  By not picking your battles and going at each one as a must win, sometimes you are giving up far more than you stand to gain.  By allowing your opponent to get a win every once in awhile, it keeps the war waging, and sets you up for more wins down the road.

In terms of parenting, sometimes it is worth letting your child get a win here and there, it makes them happy, it gives them a sense of individuality, it gives them some pride.  In the end, the battle that you let them win is most likely insignificant, but you win the war.  The war of raising a well balanced, happy child.  In terms of business, sometimes we need to give up a little (loose a battle) in order to get what we really want (the war).  In the end you have reached your goal, you have gotten what it is you desired, you won the war.  By picking your battles, you win your war.  And in the end, it is all about you anyways isn’t it?

Or friend, or connect?  Whatever the term is for the social network or social application or social utility you are on, why do you do it?

Given the nature of the line of work I am in (web company, socially related) I have a presence on the “major” social sites, and the reasons vary as to why and how I use each.  I must say that with all of them, the reason I started out using them is slightly different from how I use them now.  In the beginning, I was using them as a means of research and to keep up with what my co-workers and other industry types were doing and saying.  However (at least for two of them) more and more people I know outside of the industry started setting up shop on these social sites, and I began to get more and more requests from them.

I tried to follow a rule of thumb that I would not friend, connect or follow anyone that I did not know personally or have at  least had personal contact with (worked with, but never physically met; spoken on the phone before; etc).  Of course that was a rule of thumb, and there have been exceptions, but I have tried to stick with it for the most part.  To me, especially in the friending or connecting situations, by me accepting that invite it is as if I am partly vouching for that person.  I would not vouch for someone that I do not know at all, would you?

What blows my mind are the people that have maxed out thier friend list on say Facebook (I beleive the max is 5000, can you really “know” that many people), or follow 40k + people on Twitter (yes, believe me, they are out there).  So why do they do it?  Is it ego, are they trying to build a cult following, perhaps establishing their personal brand?  I guess what it comes down to is what is your purpose behind using these social utilities?  For me, I use them to keep up with those that I know, for others it is a whole nother game that I guess I am just not playing