I know that I can only speak for myself, but I have the terrible habit of opening my mouth and blurting something out before my mind has had time to process it and determine if that is something that should or should not have been said. Sometimes it works to my favor, as it is something extremely funny and it makes everyone laugh (which by the way is one of my quarks, I feel like I always have to make people laugh and make them happy, not sure why I do that, perhaps some intense therapy may help but I will save that for another day) other times it comes out all wrong and winds up offending or upsetting the person. The latter scenario sucks, and it is not one that I like to find myself in.

I need to take into account that not everyone is like me, I am the type that does not get offended easily nor do my feelings get hurt easily, but that does not mean that everyone else is like me (although it would make for a perfect world if they were, but I digress). Being mindful of other people’s feelings is important, it is something I need to work on. When I say things without thinking, I have no idea what is going on in that person’s life at the time, maybe they are having an extremely bad day and I am the straw that broke the camels back.

Now I am not advocating that one should not say what is on their mind, what I am advocating is that you think before you speak, and understand that what you are about to say may offend someone or several people depending on the situation and you are prepared (well as best as you can be) for the potential fall out of your comment. At least by doing this, you have given some thought to what you are going to say and you know that it may not sit well with everyone. On the flip side, there are those people who could not care any less as to what people think about what they say, and that is OK to, that is just how they are. For me, I often find myself in the conundrum where I do care about everyone’s feelings and I always want to make people happy and I blurt out stuff without thinking. Not always the best scenario to be in.

I know I have work to do (old habits die hard, I have been this way as long as I can remember), so it will be a work in progress. Until the time comes that I change (do not hold your breath, I can guarantee that it will be quite some time), please bare with me, I do not mean to hurt your feelings, it is just that my mouth has gotten the best of me.

Whether you are an appointed leader, elected leader, or leader by virtue of the position you hold within an organization or company, you are looked upon often to make tough decisions. Those decisions could affect thousands of lives, could determine the path that an organization will take or could determine the future of a company. At the end of the day, as a leader it is your job to make the tough decisions, after all, that is why you are the leader in the first place.

That is not to say that every decision that you make as a leader should be done in a vacum, there are plenty of times where decisions that are to be made make sense to be made by gaining consensus of the rest of the group. I believe that in these situations, the leader usually has not come to a conclusion or has a strong opinion either way on the matter, and therefore by gaining the collective knowledge and agreement from the group, a wise decision can be made. This is where gaining consensus makes sense and seems to work. Where it seems to fall apart is when a leader has already formed an opinion and is merely placating the group by asking their opinions when in fact the leader has already made up his/her mind and would prefer to convince the group to see it their way.

As the leader, if you have already made up your mind on what the decision is going to be, you have most likely weighed all the options, gathered all the information necessary to make the decision and have examined whether or not said decision is in the best interest of your group. If you have done this, then there is no need (at least in my mind)to gain consensus of the group if you have already made up your mind. You are the leader, state this is how it is going to be, and move on. It is your job to provide the guidance and direction for the group and to make sure that you are making the right choices to keep the group on course. It does not mean that everyone has to agree with your decision, in fact there is a good chance that there are those that will not, but remember, it is your neck on the line to provide what is best for the group.

Tough decisions are yours to make, so make them and remember that not everyone will agree, but as long as you are doing it in the best interest of the group, in the long run everyone will benefit from your decisions.

Life is confusing, there is no doubt about that. We all have our ways of making sense out of it (well at least sense as it pertains to yourself) and for me, sliding doors is the sense that I have come up with. To me, everything happens for a reason (even the bad things) and if you take each thing as it comes and move past it, you may be surprised what you find on the other side.