An old saying my father used to say to me, and still does, when it revolves around doing something selfish is “There are a lot of streets named after you, ONE WAY”! We all know what he means here, doing something for yourself without thinking of others. This happens all the time in personal life, and in business life (there is the rare occasion where someone treats life as a one way street, but it is the converse, them being selfless). Now not everyone looks at life as a one way street, there are a lot of us that look at it as a two way street, and a lot of business deals are done with this in mind.

Traditional business transactions, where there is a buyer and a seller seems like a two way street. Someone has something that they want, the other has something they want to sell, the transaction is completed and both parties are happy. That seems to define a two way street, there is mutual benefit to the relationship. That is a simple example of business being a two way street, but I think there is a deeper issue when the relationship does not follow the traditional transaction model.

I have been involved lately in a decent amount of setting up strategic partnerships, and it seems like at the onset that these partnerships are a two way street, but are they really? In a strategic partnership, at least the ones I have been involved with, no monies are actually being exchanged, rather it is a service being offered by one party and accepted and implemented by the other party. This seems like a two way street, right? At first glance it does seem like a two way street, but upon further investigation, it is more like a one and a half way street, especially when the party that is on the implementing end has something to offer in return, but it is not being considered. Even though the service is being offered that will provide some sort of incremental value to the party implementing the service, the real value is gained by the party offering the service. It gives them greater exposure, increases their reach, gets their name out there and builds brand recognition. The party implementing the feature gets the benefit of the feature, but the perceived value is far less for them.

To truly make this relationship a two way street, the party that is implementing the offering should in return offer up their service (where applicable, understanding that not every situation is the same), thereby increasing their exposure, reach, get their name out there and build brand recognition. Now, both parties are implementing a feature that will enhance their user’s experience on the one hand, and on the other they are benefiting from the greater exposure by being integrated into someone else’s offering.

To me, this is truly where business becomes a two way street, as it pertains to strategic partnerships. I also think that even in the situation where monies are exchanged for a good or service, the opportunity exists for the company on the paying end to in return offer up a service to the selling company that would be beneficial for them.

At the end of the day, we all want to do what is best for us, but we should keep in mind that the opportunities exist to do what is best for the person on the other end of the relationship, and where it makes sense, we should treat it as a two way street.

Last night my wife and I received the kind of news that you never want to receive, especially when it comes from a family member that you dearly love and respect. As is custom in our house, Sunday dinners often entail our immediate family (that being my wife and kids) and usually someone else from our family (mom, dad, aunt, uncle, brother, sister-in-law, you get the picture). Last night was no exception, we were accompanied by my wife’s uncle, who happens to live in the next neighborhood over with his wife, my wife’s aunt (she is the sister of my mother-in-law, this part is just purely for reference).

Anyways, after dinner my wife’s uncle pulls her aside and tells her he needs to bend her ear about something. I was not in the kitchen at the time, so I walked in on the conversation mid stream. Tears rolling down my wife’s face, I realize that it must not be good news, and find out that he has cancer. This comes as a complete shock to me (and likewise her) because he seems outwardly very healthy, full of energy and character and always wanting to do more. I will save the details on the rest of the conversation, but we spent quite some time discussing his situation, next steps, etc. In the midst of us discussing his heart wrenching situation, he transitions the conversation into how it is really OK that this is happening, and that he would rather it be him than one of his own kids or even one of ours. He goes on to say that he would gladly lay down and take the pain, suffering, or even ultimate death to save his children or ours from ever having to suffer through one second of what he is going through.

This brought me to tears, not because it was something that I could not believe that he was saying, rather it was because I knew that it was true, and he would not hesitate to give his own life to save one of my children. That is a complete act of selflessness that not everyone would do. I respect, admire, and love her uncle and he proved once again why I feel the way I do about him.

Being completely selfless is something that as a parent, sibling, leader or in our case uncle is something that we should all aspire to. Being a parent, I know that without a shadow of a doubt that I would burden all the pain and suffering so my children would never have to experience one second of it. For leaders, they too should be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to save their staff, company or whatever from the distractions, headaches, or potential pitfalls that may be ahead of them so they need not know of them and can continue on with their lives, their work at making the company be the best that it can be.

Being selfless is something that is extremely easy to understand, but can sometimes be extremely difficult to implement. My wife’s uncle is a living example of how easy it can be to implement, and for that I love him. Whatever the future holds for him and his situation, I will always know that he would walk to the end of the earth for my children, and I am forever thankful for that.

Wally, I am truly grateful that you are in my life and I love you.