DISCLAIMER: The intro to this post is a bit verbose, but trust me, there is a very good point in here.

Long ago in my life, I was fresh out of college and really did not know what I wanted to do with my life at that moment, nor for the long term. All I could think about was that I was no longer under the stress of going to classes (yeah, like that was a lot of stress), what bar I was going to that night that had the best deal, or where my car keys were the next morning (or where my car was for that matter). That was all part of my past, but I did not know what my future would hold. So I took the path of least resistance, I stayed on with the company that had happily employed me throughout college, a little company by the name of Fedex. After graduating college, I did take a step up in the world of Fedex and became a courier (yeah, that was me driving around the van, delivering your packages…beep, beep, heres your package).

At the time, this worked for me. I was making good money (well at least I thought I was, but would later find out I was not), was living with friends and having a good time. Although I thought that the days of figuring out which bar to go to that night and loosing my car keys were a thing of the past, apparently they were not. Living with a bunch of guys kind of perpetuates that sort of behavior regardless of college status. Needless to say, I still did not have any real direction in terms of a career, I was living for the moment.

All of this changed on Christmas night, 1995. I will spare you all the details behind the meeting, but I met my wife that night and my life changed forever. We started dating immediately, and have been together ever sense. She stuck by me when I was a Fedex courier, supported me and gave me encouragement when I decided to spread my wings and get a white collar job (tried selling copiers and faxes for awhile, what a disaster that was), and when I was unemployed for a month, she stood right beside me. I quickly found a job in the career that I am currently in (thanks to her and her parents) and I have stuck with the career ever sense. Shortly after kick starting my career, we were married and living the dream, two incomes, no kids, a house, the whole nine yards.

Somewhere along the line, I asked her how in the world she was able to stick by me when I was a courier, a copier and fax salesman and an unemployed, broke guy. Her responded quickly with a very simple answer. She said she knew in her heart that I would be somebody, that I would rise up from where I currently was and go on to do something great. This, she was sure of. She had 100% confidence in me and my ability. I had never had someone say those things to me nor feel that strongly about me and my potential. That is one of the thousands of reasons I love her dearly, but the fact that she saw something in me that I did not, and was able to guide me to brining it out and become all that I can be is remarkable. Now I am not saying that I have gone on to be one of the great leaders of the free world, but in relative terms, I have come a long way baby (and I am not finished yet).

Having faith in someone’s ability even when they do not and being able to guide them to bring that out is something that a leader can do. A leader recognizes talent when it may be masked by insecurity, lack of confidence, a bad attitude, what ever it may be. Leaders see that potential and bring it out, making those around them better and give them the confidence to rise to new levels. In my mind, an effective leader elevates those around him, by making his team better, he / she in turn gets better. It is an upward spiral effect, everyone feeds off of each other, confidence levels rise, potential rises, productivity rises. It takes a wise man/woman to recognize those diamonds in the rough, and it is there job to polish them into the brilliant stone they can and should be.

For me, I owe it all to my wife, she took a chance on something she saw in me that I did not, and I am forever grateful for that. She is a smart, strong woman and I am lucky to be graced by her presence in my life.

About a month or so ago, I finally got around to watching “We were Soldiers” The epic story of the first major battle of the Vietnam war that the United States engaged in. The main character was Lt. Colonel Hal Moore (played brilliantly by Mel Gibson) and he is the leader that takes a group of 450 soldiers into battle and he exhorts his men to be all they can be. The movie is based on a true story and is recounted in a book by Lt. Colonel Hal Moore. From the start, they are facing an uphill battle given the fact that they are 450 strong and are up against a Vietnamese force of 2000 plus.

The one thing that Lt. Colonel Hal Moore tells his troops is that he will always be the first one on the battle field, and he will be the last one to step foot off the battlefield. He goes on to say that not only will he be the last one off, he will not leave any of his soldiers behind. This is a testament to his character as a man of war, but more importantly to his strength as a leader.

As a leader, it is your responsibility to take the brunt of whatever comes at your organization, and disseminate the appropriate information down to you people so they can get done what they need to do and not be bothered by all the other noise that is swirling around you. Being the leader of an organization means that you are going to have people coming at you from every angle, they are going to either want to give you something (ex: sell you something) or they are going to want something from you. You need to stay focused and weed out the important from the unimportant, and pass along the important to those that need it to perform their jobs. By allowing them to stay focused on their task at hand, the net result is that the overall team will be able to accomplish the team goal (whatever that may be).

Equally important is the fact that as a leader it is your responsibility to be the last to leave the battlefield. You never want to give the impression that your time or you interests are more valuable than those that are on your team, therefore you should be the last one off the battlefield (or maybe in your case, you should be the last one standing putting all the final touches on things). You employees look up to you as their leader, they put their complete trust in you so it is your responsibility to ensure them that you will do whatever it takes to protect them and to make the team succeed. Trust goes a long way with a team, it takes time to build that trust up, but it could take one small slip up and that trust is gone.

Leading by example will build that trust and it will go along way, so try to set the example of being the first one on the battlefield and the last one of.

I thought I would change things up a little today and go with a post that is a little on the lighter side (well, I guess that depends on whether or not you consider me complaining about other people’s actions as light, but I do so there). For the record, if you have committed any of these faux paus in my presence, I forgive you this time, but take this as fair warning that if you do it again, you are off the friend list ;-).

Without further delay, here are the top 10 things that people do (or don’t do) that grate my nerves (according to Will)

1. Not saying thank you if I hold the door open for you. Oh, are you too good for that? Guess what, next time I will let it slam in your face, then you will think twice before doing it again.
2. Not washing your hands after you go to the bathroom. All I have to say is YUCK. Please don’t extend your hand to shake mine, I will have to say no thanks! I actually witnessed this today, which prompted me to write this blog post.
3. Feeding people lip service. If you say you are going to do something, then just follow through with it. If you never intended on doing it in the first place, then just stay quiet and don’t mention it.
4. Cutting someone off in traffic just to get one car ahead. I mean really, does it save you that much time? Come on, Karma is going to come back and bite you eventually if you keep this up.
5. Passing me in the hallway and saying “Hey, how is it going” and keep on moving. Did you really want to know how I was doing? Guess not or you would have stopped to hear my response. Next time a simple Hello would be sufficient.
6. Talking for the sake of talking. Sometimes it is better to listen to the conversation rather than trying to be the conversation. There is a great old saying that goes like this “In order to be understood, first you must understand.” You are never going to understand, let alone be understood if you do not keep your yapper quiet sometimes and listen.
7. Assume their situation is the worst situation in the world right now. Trust me, no matter how bad you have it right now, there are plenty of other people out there who have it worse. Be thankful for what you have and be thankful you are not in their position.
8. Being late. Oh, this one really gets me. I am usually either on time or ahead of schedule. I respect other peoples time, therefore I give them the respect they deserve and show up on time. Try to do the same, your time is no more valuable than mine, and if it is, then why are we meeting in the first place?
9. Trying to be everything to everyone. I am actually guilty of this on occasion, so perhaps I should take some of my own medicine. There is a little thing called delegation, try it sometime, you may find that it makes your life a little easier. Some things are just better left to be done by someone else.
10. Last, but not least, keeping up with the Jones. Who are the Jones anyway? I do not know them, nor do I think I want to, but it seems a lot of peeps out there do know them and want to one up them. Be happy with who you are, you are unique and that is what makes this world a special place. Otherwise we would all be living in Pleasantville and what kind of fun would that be. Diversity is a good thing, embrace it and spread it.

There you have it, that is my list and I am sticking with it. Feel free to add to it as you please, I am sure there are countless other things out there that people do that rub you the wrong way. Say it loud and say it proud!